Is love a feeling or commitment?Is love a commitment?Love is one of the most basic human emotions. … Love and
feelings about the partner are only one of many determinants of commitment to that partner. Factors predicting
commitment are also reviewed below. Much of the research on relationship commitment examines marital partners.
“Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love.
This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present.
Everything. Only, here’s the problem. In today’s language, “love” means a gooey warm feeling toward another. So, as
the children were fighting, if I were to say, “Do you feel love toward each other right now?” I’d probably get a big fat
“NO!” in unison.
But the proper meaning of love really isn’t warm or romantic feelings, as wonderful as those are. The proper meaning
of “love” is a more ancient, even biblical one, meaning to be committed to another, to doing good unto that other,
regardless of any feelings involved at the moment, and regardless of whether the object of that love even deserves it at the moment.
I’ve been talking about that lately with my kids. I don’t ask them, “Do you feel loving toward your sister right now?” I
ask them, “Are you showing love toward your sister or brother right now? Are you committed to doing good to them
even if you don’t ‘feel’ like it?”
I’m trying to teach them that love is action.
So, when it comes to things like the scooter, sometimes I’ll step in and say, “That toy is a lot less important than your
relationship as sisters. I want you to show love to each other right now and work it out.”
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