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Research has shown people do tend to decide whether they are romantically interested in a person within seconds of
meeting them, and that near-instantaneous decision depends on a mix of physical and psychological cues they pick up about the person at a first glance.
As for actually falling in love, a set of researchers set out in 2017 to study love at first sight as soon as it happened.
They staged meetings with potential romantic partners for some 400 men and women and then asked about the
feelings they experienced during the encounter. A small number of people did report falling in love at first sight, but
those feelings didn’t include high passion, intimacy, or commitment—all the classic hallmarks of romantic love psychologists look for, according to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.
The main factor that predicted falling in love at first sight with a stranger? Physical attraction.
Reasons people might feel like they fell in love at first sight:
- Physical attraction: People are much more likely to fall in love at first sight with people they find physically
- attractive, according to the aforementioned 2017 study.
- Confusing love and infatuation: Infatuation involves intense feelings of attraction and fixation for someone without
- knowing them well, usually by way of actively ignoring red flags in favor of a fantasy.
- Openness to love: People who are looking for love might be more likely to lean into an intense initial feeling,
- according to Henry. “Most important is the desire for love,” she explains. “Being open to love and willing to engage
- in a loving relationship then creates the space for ‘love at first sight.'”
- The halo effect: It’s likely that some happy couples retroactively embellish the story of how they met, applying their
- current feelings of love to their memories of the past. Think of it like remembering their first meeting with a positive glow.
Is love at first sight dangerous?
Love at first sight isn’t necessarily dangerous or unhealthy, and there are plenty of happy couples in healthy relationships who claim to have fallen in love at first sight. That said, because the feelings associated with love at first sight are usually more based on physical attraction and infatuation—as opposed to the enduring, committed care and intimacy that are hallmarks of lasting love—it’s possible to get invested too quickly in a relationship that may not actually be healthy or with a partner who might not actually be compatible with them.
Early feelings of love don’t necessarily mean two people are a good fit for each other, Cullins emphasizes.
“The idea that ‘love conquers all’ is quite misleading,” she says. “Having an initial sense of deep knowing and loving connection with another person can serve as a strong base, but healthy and happy couples are also compatible in their approach to daily life, use communication and conflict resolution skills to overcome inevitable challenges, and work hard to stay in tune with each other as they evolve.”