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If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “What in the world is my kid thinking?”, you’re in good company. Almost all parents have probably asked themselves that question, at some point.
Children are not just short adults. They think about things in qualitatively different ways than adults do. Some of these differences are delightful. Because they haven’t been around that long, children see the world as full of exciting adventures and discoveries. I remember one of my children, when she was about four years old, declaring with complete sincerity, “I love putting money in the parking meter!”
But sometimes differences in how children and adults think can be baffling or exasperating for parents. My niece and nephew, when they were little, liked their plates to be clean, so at every lunch and dinner, they carefully removed the food from their plates and placed it directly on the table.
My son, when he was three years old, was deeply attached to this ratty t-shirt that said, “Greetings from Aruba!” I have no idea where we even got that shirt because no one in our family had been to Aruba. He liked it because there was a parrot on it. He insisted on wearing this shirt as often as possible, including to his birthday party.
And what parent hasn’t had the experience of trying to get out the door in the morning and saying to the kids, “Come on! Let’s go. We’re running late”? But we might as well say, “Higgledy piggledy pop!” Although schedules and appointments are a big part of our adult lives, they are meaningless to young children, who tend to live in the present moment and have only a vague understanding of time. Urging them to hurry can raise tension and cause kids to slow down.